Retirement Plans

I've spent the last 25 years at my friend Jim's house and finally have figured out the right way to capitalize on all that time served. It has come to my attention that I may not ever be able to retire comfortably AND both children have announced that they want to live with me forever instead of marrying and buying their own homes with in-law suites.

So my friends and I have come up with a plan.
Jim's wifey and I are going to drink. A lot. From pretty colored bottles. Like Skyy vodka and Absolut Raspberri. The bottles are so pretty! Even prettier when they are turned into sea glass.


So we will slug it all down, A* and I, from the front porch, while watching boats go by. At some point early in the years, we will build a trebuchet which we will use to fling the empty bottles into Buzzards Bay. I'll be able to tweak the trebuchet when I get bored of watching boats.

Daytime hours will be spent harvesting the sea glass and recovering from dramatic bottle flinging exercises.

When I get bored of this, I can build a harvesting machine from a lobster trap and some twine. This will go a long way toward saving Buzzards Bay from idiots who throw stuff into it.