So here's hyperactivity:
- trouble sitting still; constant fidgeting
- talking excessively
- craving for excitement
- feelings of inner restlessness, agitation
- tendency to take risks
- getting bored easily
- racing thoughts
- doing a million things at once
I am just starting to realize the amount of shifting around and fidgeting I do. When I first started writing this post, I thought "I do a pretty good job of sitting still. I don't jump out of my seat. I don't twitch or fidget much." But then I realized, I had shifted my legs at least 4 times while I wrote and I got up twice - but both for totally valid reasons. So you know, clearly I'm not hyperactive.
And.
Poor ChowderDad. He loves movies. I do too. But I hate the credits - opening and closing. And I can't sit still. I remember being really conscious of this when I was 12 and went to see "Let's Spend The Night Together" with my friend Jen. I remember folding and unfolding my legs the whole time and thinking how she didn't move once for the whole movie. ChowderDad has sat with me through a billion movies in our life together. The exciting ones mean I only shift 30 or 40 times an hour. The boring ones? Excruciating.
And.
My very first report card said "talks too much" and anyone who knows me knows that I talk too much. And here's something scary for those of you who just met me in the last 5 years. I talk less than I used to. Significantly less than when I was in college (this should be a relief to any of my college friends who have been avoiding me for that reason...)
I admit it. I do talk excessively. And here's how it feels. Like a fucking train that can't stop. I am conscious that I am talking too much, that people probably wish I would shut up...but it's like all rushing out and I can't seem to stop it easily. I work really hard to tell stories concisely. To get to the point.
In the interest of full disclosure, when I drink, it gets harder to work at that skill. The good news is that in parties, it's a great skill and people can usually count on me to entertain everyone with outrageous stories and excessive talking.
Coping Stuff:
I've largely learned how to channel what I now know is hyperactivity. I'm the one who leaps up to take notes on the white board. I keep most of my TO DO lists on white boards in my office, which allows me to get up 20 times. And I try and sit on the aisle at the movies so I can move my feet.
I get bored easily so I look for interesting aspects of most situations. I used to call them games - a long drive gets a narrative by exit number. Exit 45, mom was born, WWII, 2014, 4+5=9, when I am 45 I hope I have a Jeep, my jeep was blue, do they make new ones? It goes on and on until the next exit. Working with numbers in the educational universe, I reward myself with letting me imagine what materials the schools in their towns would have been built from in the 19th century.
Side note: I despise the NYS Thruway. 16 miles of thinking about what my life might be like at 40. Suffice to say, 20 year old me was an idiot.
That is really interesting. I never would have pegged you as ADHD. You just seem lively and fun to me. And now I'm wondering if S might be ADHD too. He can't ever sit still (unless it's baseball and then his mouth is running a mile a minute. I call him Rainman in regards to baseball,) he always has to be occupied with something, he always needs to jump up to go on some errand.
ReplyDeleteDoes it drive you nuts when other people DON'T need to be doing stuff?
Hrm. Not especially. I appreciate it - wish I could do it more. I get really agitated with myself when I am working on relaxing. :) I sit in the yard and have to find something to do even if it is just moving around.
ReplyDeleteWatching someone sit makes me annoyed with myself, not them!