ADHD Wars Episode V: The Anger Strikes Back

Emotional difficulties:

Many adults with ADD/ADHD have a hard time managing their feelings, especially when it comes to emotions like anger or frustration. Common emotional symptoms of adult ADD/ADHD include:

• sense of underachievement
• doesn’t deal well with frustration
• easily flustered and stressed out
• irritability or mood swings
• trouble staying motivated
• hypersensitivity to criticism
• short, often explosive, temper
• low self-esteem and sense of insecurity

Oh dear. Once again. Check, check, check-check. I could go down the list and give an example for each but no one wants to hear how I was supposed to write a book by 30, how insanely quickly I go from fine to tweaking, or any of the other good stuff. Generally, I don't think I have emotional difficulties as a big statement. I have an 18 year stable relationship, close connections with my parents, lifelong friends - how much emotional difficulties could I have? When I first started researching ADHD, I thought this one wasn't me. I'm FINE.

But I have to admit that when I look at the description, it's pretty much me. My biggest concern in all of this is that I've kind of always known that when it comes to motherhood, I don't handle stress well. I tweak frequently over things that really aren't crucial. It does relate to my last post about being so angry with people when I perceive that they've thrown me off my game. So with the kids, I feel badly a lot that I am so inconsistent with my moods and with my reactions to their behaviors. I will be impulsive and say let's have a dance party or build a fort or see what happens when you put Mentos in Coke but then if it gets "too much", I can snap easily and call a time out on the whole thing. So the kids end up with a moving line. Some nights I am tired and don't care if they spend the meal talking about the bathroom. Other nights, I snap quickly. How on earth are they supposed to figure this out? Is it okay or is it not? Is it sometimes okay?

In other areas of life, I find it less impactful. And if I am honest with myself, I am pretty sure the kids don't think I am terrible. But I'd like to get better at structure and consistency. I think it would make them feel better and make me a better mother. And it doesn't have to mean we stop dance parties. Just that we have to work together to set limits on the crazy. :)