Spa Days and Beery Nights

So a month or so ago, ChowderDad sent me to Boston to hang out with my BFF CubicleGirl. He sent us to a BFF day at a local spa that included toasty warm tables and a facial. So we're doing the relaxing thing and we get random lotions and stuff and steam and whatever. At one point, I feel a wet paper towel on my eyes and then hear the door close.

And I tried, I really tried, to just *be* or whatever it is laid back people do when they look to me like they're relaxing. In the meantime, their eyes are closed and I keep opening mine and wondering if I registered ChowderBoy for camp or if I figured out who will feed the cats in 2014 when we go to Brazil for the World Cup.

A few minutes go by and I can't take it and start laughing. And all hell breaks loose. CubicleGirl's wet paper towel falls off her face, mine slips over my nose, we are most certainly NOT relaxing, and I'm crying I am laughing so hard.

When we got home that night, we had this extended discussion about the stuff people do at spas. And how we could open our own spa with all kinds of made up stuff.

"This is the part of the facial where we leave the room and put toilet paper between your toes and an alfalfa root on your chin. Breathe in the freshness. We will be back once we are done turning the giant stone under the building. This will release the positive vibes to your skin, encouraging it to release the dirt."

It was all fun and games until last night when I went and got a spa pedicure which I selected because they always smear extra stuff on your legs and spend a long time hitting your feet with their fists.

The guy walked out at the beginning holding a beer and I got all excited. I thought "Wow. You guys know me. A Korean beer? Thanks!"

And then he opened it and dumped it in the foot bath.

By the time I finally recovered, he brought out two green steam machines that shot non-soothing steam at my legs. Then there was some standard stuff. Then they brought out soy sauce containers filled with random goo. There was some chocolate stuff put on my legs and some white stuff on my ankles and then some saran wrap and some soothing steam.

At that point, I realized that they can pretty much do whatever they want at spas. And people like me will pay for it, simply because we just want someone to rub our feet for 20 minutes or something. And people who want something "special" will look at the beer and think "Oh....special Korean beer must have secret Asian powers for my legs and I will come out of this aglow."