So a month or so ago, ChowderDad sent me to Boston to hang out with my BFF CubicleGirl. He sent us to a BFF day at a local spa that included toasty warm tables and a facial. So we're doing the relaxing thing and we get random lotions and stuff and steam and whatever. At one point, I feel a wet paper towel on my eyes and then hear the door close.
And I tried, I really tried, to just *be* or whatever it is laid back people do when they look to me like they're relaxing. In the meantime, their eyes are closed and I keep opening mine and wondering if I registered ChowderBoy for camp or if I figured out who will feed the cats in 2014 when we go to Brazil for the World Cup.
A few minutes go by and I can't take it and start laughing. And all hell breaks loose. CubicleGirl's wet paper towel falls off her face, mine slips over my nose, we are most certainly NOT relaxing, and I'm crying I am laughing so hard.
When we got home that night, we had this extended discussion about the stuff people do at spas. And how we could open our own spa with all kinds of made up stuff.
"This is the part of the facial where we leave the room and put toilet paper between your toes and an alfalfa root on your chin. Breathe in the freshness. We will be back once we are done turning the giant stone under the building. This will release the positive vibes to your skin, encouraging it to release the dirt."
It was all fun and games until last night when I went and got a spa pedicure which I selected because they always smear extra stuff on your legs and spend a long time hitting your feet with their fists.
The guy walked out at the beginning holding a beer and I got all excited. I thought "Wow. You guys know me. A Korean beer? Thanks!"
And then he opened it and dumped it in the foot bath.
By the time I finally recovered, he brought out two green steam machines that shot non-soothing steam at my legs. Then there was some standard stuff. Then they brought out soy sauce containers filled with random goo. There was some chocolate stuff put on my legs and some white stuff on my ankles and then some saran wrap and some soothing steam.
At that point, I realized that they can pretty much do whatever they want at spas. And people like me will pay for it, simply because we just want someone to rub our feet for 20 minutes or something. And people who want something "special" will look at the beer and think "Oh....special Korean beer must have secret Asian powers for my legs and I will come out of this aglow."
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Post-World Cup Sadness
Seriously, people. I am really unhappy. The kids are with their grandparents, I'm working long hours, and the only thing at home is...what? The Home Run Derby? It's boring. Life has become boring!
I think I have something like "Avatar Depression Syndrome" in which people find themselves at a loss for what to do when life does not turn out to be like the alien world of Pandora.
How can a rainy commute, mac and cheese, and the Home Run Derby compete with 5B to a local economy? How can my Wyclef Pandora station inspire continuous joy and hope like the soundtrack to the World Cup? Every day should feel like the World Cup. With drama and excitement and a nice soundtrack that makes you feel like the world is all happy and unified in their quest to beat the crap out of each other.
It's not fair. I am going to have to watch the 1980 Olympic victory over CCCP just to give me a ray of sunshine.
Thankfully, there are only 1,431 days to go until the next World Cup. That should give me plenty of time to research flights to Rio and make playlists for the flight.
I think I have something like "Avatar Depression Syndrome" in which people find themselves at a loss for what to do when life does not turn out to be like the alien world of Pandora.
How can a rainy commute, mac and cheese, and the Home Run Derby compete with 5B to a local economy? How can my Wyclef Pandora station inspire continuous joy and hope like the soundtrack to the World Cup? Every day should feel like the World Cup. With drama and excitement and a nice soundtrack that makes you feel like the world is all happy and unified in their quest to beat the crap out of each other.
It's not fair. I am going to have to watch the 1980 Olympic victory over CCCP just to give me a ray of sunshine.
Thankfully, there are only 1,431 days to go until the next World Cup. That should give me plenty of time to research flights to Rio and make playlists for the flight.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Extra Time - 2nd 15
I assume I am not the only person in the English speaking world who giggles when Xavi does anything? Sometimes they say it like Chavay, sometimes more like "chavvy" which makes me giggle.
117:17
Oh thank god.
Ow my throat.
So beautiful!!!!!
117:17
Oh thank god.
Ow my throat.
So beautiful!!!!!
Extra Time - First 15
I am not sure I am made for this. I could die from the anticipation.
As long as I'm on the subject of passionate viewership of sports, now that I am fully bitten, I need an EPL team. I have a strong opinion already, naturally. But I am willing to consider all passionately felt and eloquently expressed opinions on the matter. In fact, I encourage it. Years ago, I put out an RFP for an NFL team, having been converted to Yankee fandom, I figured I could also leave Patriots-land. It turned out to be pointless but I did discover an appreciation for stadiums with jails and long suffering teams.
Perhaps this week while the kids are at ChowderGrandparents house, I will write up a Scocer RFP.
95:00 - 98:55
Lots of shouting from the ChowderHouse.
99:10
It occurs to me that I may want to follow Real Madrid.
103:35
I am going to rip the skin off my face.
104:44
Do we think the "while you're up" trick will work twice?
As long as I'm on the subject of passionate viewership of sports, now that I am fully bitten, I need an EPL team. I have a strong opinion already, naturally. But I am willing to consider all passionately felt and eloquently expressed opinions on the matter. In fact, I encourage it. Years ago, I put out an RFP for an NFL team, having been converted to Yankee fandom, I figured I could also leave Patriots-land. It turned out to be pointless but I did discover an appreciation for stadiums with jails and long suffering teams.
Perhaps this week while the kids are at ChowderGrandparents house, I will write up a Scocer RFP.
95:00 - 98:55
Lots of shouting from the ChowderHouse.
99:10
It occurs to me that I may want to follow Real Madrid.
103:35
I am going to rip the skin off my face.
104:44
Do we think the "while you're up" trick will work twice?
World Cup Finals - 2nd Half
I came home early to watch the World Cup finals with my husband. In the 18 years I've known him, this is the first time we've really shared an interest in a sport. I'm the one who passionately engages in watching sports. He humors me, laughs when I cry at the 1980 Olympic victory, and generally acts as if I am some kind of deformed puppy.
But here we are, both obsessed with World Cup soccer - and watching as much as we can together - even if that means AIMing during work while we're both on conference calls and half-watching and listening to a match.
We're on a delay here in the Bloody Mary house but we're watching together, on a media-free quarantine while we watch. I shut the back door of the house in case our ESPN neighbor runs outside shreiling ESPANA or ORANGEEEE!!!!
So at the half, here's where we are:
We're watching ESPN coverage, and although I love the enthusiasm of Univision, I don't speak Spanish so it's hard to catch the exact story. Now I am enjoying mostly understanding the commentary - specifically the British dude, whoever he is.
68:29
I find it very challenging to type and watch at the same time at home. It's asking for a back issue to be sitting sideways on the couch typing at a 30 degree angle and watching at 45.
69:01
OOOOOOOHhhhhhhh! Even ChowderDad is shouting.
72:53:
Ewwww. I hate the Dutch. Dirty gross. I am getting twitchy, nudgey, whiny. Need more beer.
74:25
I just pulled the old "While you're up" scam to ChowderDad who was sitting comfortably. Muchas gracias. Ahhhhh.
76:17
I am going to throw something at the TV.
76:49
Oh sweet Jayses.
78:20
Looks like a hockey game might break out now.
80:55
More screaming.
82:40
Eyes covered...muffled screaming. Jayses.
85:11
On the Eve of July 12, I just have to say. I really hate orange. Poor ChowderBoy. I may never allow it in the house again in July.
88:02
Just drew blood on my knuckle.
92:42
Tick tock.
EXTRA TIME
But here we are, both obsessed with World Cup soccer - and watching as much as we can together - even if that means AIMing during work while we're both on conference calls and half-watching and listening to a match.
We're on a delay here in the Bloody Mary house but we're watching together, on a media-free quarantine while we watch. I shut the back door of the house in case our ESPN neighbor runs outside shreiling ESPANA or ORANGEEEE!!!!
So at the half, here's where we are:
- Kennebunkport IPA is sold at Trader Joe's for $5.99/six-pack and it is very tasty.
- I am disgusted by the Dutch. This is saying a lot. I am a Bruins fan, after all, who adores Jay Miller and anyone else willing to come off the bench just to check someone. But this is over the top stuff. At least the first half was.
- Clearly, I'm rooting for Espana now.
- I bigpuffyheart love David Villa.
We're watching ESPN coverage, and although I love the enthusiasm of Univision, I don't speak Spanish so it's hard to catch the exact story. Now I am enjoying mostly understanding the commentary - specifically the British dude, whoever he is.
68:29
I find it very challenging to type and watch at the same time at home. It's asking for a back issue to be sitting sideways on the couch typing at a 30 degree angle and watching at 45.
69:01
OOOOOOOHhhhhhhh! Even ChowderDad is shouting.
72:53:
Ewwww. I hate the Dutch. Dirty gross. I am getting twitchy, nudgey, whiny. Need more beer.
74:25
I just pulled the old "While you're up" scam to ChowderDad who was sitting comfortably. Muchas gracias. Ahhhhh.
76:17
I am going to throw something at the TV.
76:49
Oh sweet Jayses.
78:20
Looks like a hockey game might break out now.
80:55
More screaming.
82:40
Eyes covered...muffled screaming. Jayses.
85:11
On the Eve of July 12, I just have to say. I really hate orange. Poor ChowderBoy. I may never allow it in the house again in July.
88:02
Just drew blood on my knuckle.
92:42
Tick tock.
EXTRA TIME
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Germany - Uruguay
I've been grasping at straws for weeks, seeking reasons to dislike Uruguay. The only thing I can come up with is the whole plane crash in the Andes thing. And that's not fair - they're not all cannibals. In fact, those poor guys were devastated.
And if we're comparing what various countries have done? I'm pretty sure eating a few people doesn't match up to super villainy.
And yet, I can't root for them. Especially against Germany. Cause I bigpuffyheart love Germans. Modern ones are awesomeness.
Okay, so I know Jen Lehmann doesn't play for Germany anymore but really, seriously? This is a person and sometimes you see him in coverage and he's all yummy and keeps lists in his socks.
The current team is also hotter than hotness. And you can't argue with hotness.
GO GERMANY!!!!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
On Forks and Sleep
Once upon a time, my brother dropped his fork at the table every single night. It made my father insane. In fact, he had a neck vein that would pop out when M would drop a utensil.
ChowderBoy has a vein just like it so tonight I demonstrated a story from my childhood.
See, Dad went through crankypants years and would slam his fist on the table when we would start kicking each other or whining or not eating or whatever annoying shit it is that kids do at the dinner table to make their parents lose their minds.
One night, he slammed his fist on the table and accidentally hit a utensil which went flying.
Tonight I was telling this story and I smacked my fist on the table and flung a fork in the air and it landed prongs down on ChowderBoy's head. When he started crying, I picked him up and carried him into the living room to comfort him. I promptly slammed his head on the edge of the couch.
Thankfully, cool-headed German au pair, #1 (now #4) brought in a frozen chicken breast to put on his head.
Problem solved.
ChowderBoy has a vein just like it so tonight I demonstrated a story from my childhood.
See, Dad went through crankypants years and would slam his fist on the table when we would start kicking each other or whining or not eating or whatever annoying shit it is that kids do at the dinner table to make their parents lose their minds.
One night, he slammed his fist on the table and accidentally hit a utensil which went flying.
Tonight I was telling this story and I smacked my fist on the table and flung a fork in the air and it landed prongs down on ChowderBoy's head. When he started crying, I picked him up and carried him into the living room to comfort him. I promptly slammed his head on the edge of the couch.
Thankfully, cool-headed German au pair, #1 (now #4) brought in a frozen chicken breast to put on his head.
Problem solved.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Germany - Espana
I have returned from my 2:30 PM meeting. I tried valiantly to take the call from my office but was thwarted by a client.
I ran late to the meeting initially because the kids' 1st German babysitter has just returned to our family after 2 years and she forgot how to turn on live TV. We both panicked because I couldn't visualize the damned remote while on the phone AND I was panicked about this meeting AND I was trying to set up my computer so I could watch. We had to get ChowderBoy to get live TV on.
In the end, I had to take the call in another office and arrived back at my desk at 57:23.
My very favorite part of the meeting was when the client told us "I do not believe in multitasking. That's why I scheduled this call for an hour before the World Cup match starts. We can finish in an hour and then I can watch."
He's in Chicago. He scheduled the meeting for 1:30 CST. Which is 2:30 EST. Which is when the match started.
der Mann ist ein Idiot.
I ran late to the meeting initially because the kids' 1st German babysitter has just returned to our family after 2 years and she forgot how to turn on live TV. We both panicked because I couldn't visualize the damned remote while on the phone AND I was panicked about this meeting AND I was trying to set up my computer so I could watch. We had to get ChowderBoy to get live TV on.
In the end, I had to take the call in another office and arrived back at my desk at 57:23.
My very favorite part of the meeting was when the client told us "I do not believe in multitasking. That's why I scheduled this call for an hour before the World Cup match starts. We can finish in an hour and then I can watch."
He's in Chicago. He scheduled the meeting for 1:30 CST. Which is 2:30 EST. Which is when the match started.
der Mann ist ein Idiot.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Going Dutch at the World Cup
I was rooting for Netherlands all along, of course. Everyone told me Brazil would win so I have to be contrary and root for Netherlands. That is the other thing about me - I root for the underdog most of the time. And god help you if you tell me who to root for. Unless I love you, I am not changing my loyalty because you tell me to.
But that was great fun to watch! And thankfully, my client is a major sports retailer and scheduled our meeting for after the match was over - so I got to watch the whole thing.
For those of you who are reading my updates and wondering...isn't she supposed to be working? I feel like I need to explain this. I have a monitors and two laptops. One laptop is dedicated to running the World Cup matches and providing audio via headphones. The other is dedicated to work. So I can half listen while I work and look up if I need to.
If you've ever had a conversation with me, you know I run about 20 things at once in my head. The vuvuzela drone is actually working to help me focus on work these days. I might work by vuvuzela at some point.
But that was great fun to watch! And thankfully, my client is a major sports retailer and scheduled our meeting for after the match was over - so I got to watch the whole thing.
For those of you who are reading my updates and wondering...isn't she supposed to be working? I feel like I need to explain this. I have a monitors and two laptops. One laptop is dedicated to running the World Cup matches and providing audio via headphones. The other is dedicated to work. So I can half listen while I work and look up if I need to.
If you've ever had a conversation with me, you know I run about 20 things at once in my head. The vuvuzela drone is actually working to help me focus on work these days. I might work by vuvuzela at some point.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
The Rivah House Versus The Back House - Part One
One of my best friends is on vacation this week. She and her wife are at their house on the James River in Virgina. This house has regularly been described as being the equivalent of the "Back House" for us. A shelter from the harsh realities of real life, conveniently located near water, a regular routine of food and drink, and a place to just breathe.
My vacation at the Back House is not scheduled for a few weeks so I decided to go along with them when they went this year. I mean, not physically. But emotionally I am floating in an inner tube and drinking a Bud Light. There are some central differences to the vacations. One is the beer (we go brand loyal Yankees up here) and the other is the music.
When they go, they know they are home because they can receive the Eagle 97 signal. For me, I can pick up WMVY around New Bedford and I know I am almost there.
So since I am on vacation with them this week, I have been listening to their radio station online. Also, if I get any text messages, I try and call the station and request some songs for them. The station is busy all the time though.
I have learned a lot and suddenly have a whole new world view. I am pretty sure it is the music.
I love my husband more because I keep hearing all these songs about how lucky these people are cause they ain't got no money but they got love. Or how they been dating so long they're just crazy. Or checking each other for ticks. Which is somehow sexy. But the point is, we've been together forever and it's good and so I appreciate it.
I think trailer parks and killing your own woodland creature meat sound like fun. I think I should get a bunch of beer and head out somewhere and drink it and appreciate life. Also, I think I might like whiskey. Lots of it.
I'm going to live like I am dying, know that I am gonna miss these days, remember the good old days, and love like crazy.
I'm also pretty sure that the South should maybe rise again after all. It sounds fantastic. All the pride! I mean, I could live in a trailerhood and not be ashamed - and know that I had been raised bathed in God's love. And that it's all kindness and goodness and doing the right thing.
It all sounds pretty good when backed up by some honky tonk badonkadonk. Aside from the random crying in the middle of feeling like jumping on my desk and downing a bottle of whiskey, it all sounds pretty good. And all things considered, it has been a pretty good week.
It started me thinking about WMVY though. I'll have to listen to that next week and see where it leaves me. Probably just inoffensively and quietly asking people to pass things to me and thanking them graciously.
My vacation at the Back House is not scheduled for a few weeks so I decided to go along with them when they went this year. I mean, not physically. But emotionally I am floating in an inner tube and drinking a Bud Light. There are some central differences to the vacations. One is the beer (we go brand loyal Yankees up here) and the other is the music.
When they go, they know they are home because they can receive the Eagle 97 signal. For me, I can pick up WMVY around New Bedford and I know I am almost there.
So since I am on vacation with them this week, I have been listening to their radio station online. Also, if I get any text messages, I try and call the station and request some songs for them. The station is busy all the time though.
I have learned a lot and suddenly have a whole new world view. I am pretty sure it is the music.
I love my husband more because I keep hearing all these songs about how lucky these people are cause they ain't got no money but they got love. Or how they been dating so long they're just crazy. Or checking each other for ticks. Which is somehow sexy. But the point is, we've been together forever and it's good and so I appreciate it.
I think trailer parks and killing your own woodland creature meat sound like fun. I think I should get a bunch of beer and head out somewhere and drink it and appreciate life. Also, I think I might like whiskey. Lots of it.
I'm going to live like I am dying, know that I am gonna miss these days, remember the good old days, and love like crazy.
I'm also pretty sure that the South should maybe rise again after all. It sounds fantastic. All the pride! I mean, I could live in a trailerhood and not be ashamed - and know that I had been raised bathed in God's love. And that it's all kindness and goodness and doing the right thing.
It all sounds pretty good when backed up by some honky tonk badonkadonk. Aside from the random crying in the middle of feeling like jumping on my desk and downing a bottle of whiskey, it all sounds pretty good. And all things considered, it has been a pretty good week.
It started me thinking about WMVY though. I'll have to listen to that next week and see where it leaves me. Probably just inoffensively and quietly asking people to pass things to me and thanking them graciously.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)