The Best Part of My Job

And I'm not kidding. I love to pick out images for new business proposals and web sites. Love it. Like. If I could do nothing but this, it would be the best job in the universe.

I am currently working on a proposal that features oranges prominently. And it's fun and creative and engaging. Last week I spent 3 hours looking for photos of clouds that somehow evoked cloud computing. I

Today I found a completely bizarre photo. These things always please me because I have to think about what company needs this photo? What are they using it for? It is admittedly playful and silly but um...is this for an orange juice ad?

"Adderall is Cheating"

So I've heard this sentiment recently. And I thought it was kind of funny. First of all, cheating at what? I didn't know we all were in a competition.

But secondly, I can forgive the misunderstanding about what it does to people. I certainly never understood what speed would do to an ADHD brain versus a "normal" one. I assumed it was, you know, speed.

So I've chosen the path of medicating, at least in the short term. And here's how my pre-medication morning went.

1. Got up at 7:30, shower, etc. 
2. Set up computer for Skype call.
3. Make eggs benedict for the kids for breakfast, overcooked eggs, burned ham, forgot some for myself.
4. Packed lunches, snacks, backpacks.Kids dawdled about while I kept finding things I needed to do. Like move the snack box to another counter. And figure out what that dull clinking noise was in the dining room (St. Brigid's cross in our window + fan = dull clinking noise) and fix it.
5. 8:30 - they missed the bus.
6. Extra time! Let's sort through some papers before I drive them to school!
7. Went to Trader Joe's for detergent and got beer, detergent, and cereal.
8. Went to the library to return two books (done) and pick up 2 books on ADHD that are supposed to have been delivered from the downtown library but weren't. Also pick up a cookbook, a book on 19th century German history, and some random fiction that I will never read.
9. Came home and cleaned the kitchen, started a load of laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, had a conference call, checked (work) email, responded to emails, read a corporate community service overview, made a virgin bloody mary, put away some toys, talked with ChowderDad a little bit.
10. Took my meds @ 9:30.

From 9:30 - 10:00 when I was sitting here writing and listening to a conference call, [shift legs] I keep looking at this empty bag on the stairs that I need to bring up so I can take the clothes in the hall and pack them up for Goodwill. [stand up] Which reminds me I have laundry. I should do that too. [sit down] But there's this robot toy on the table and that needs a home. What was that email I got from Naomi? Did I respond? I should look and see if I responded. [crack neck] Is that fan still on in the kitchen? Where DID I put that hiking book? Is IBM's corporate community type mission green? That hardly makes sense...I mean, it does and all but they're doing what with cloud computing and the environment? I really need to read about that. Open tab. Wait. Someone asked me a question on the call...

That is a roughly 2 minute reenactment.

10:02:
I need to go to my office. I have work to do. I really need to deal with this cable channel thing. Unplug the computer, bring the glass to the kitchen, walk up the stairs, past the Goodwill clothes [ignore] and up to the third floor. Where I plug in the iPhone, organize the papers for the day. Write this. And publish post. Because I have work to do.

What I Do For Work

I really do work! I work hard and furiously and then stop. And I sometimes have trouble explaining in a school drop off kind of way - exactly what I do. I get kind of flustered and I either undersell (I am in digital marketing) or I over-describe and go into some weird and lengthy discussion about inventions and curriculum and PR.

I'm in marketing, specifically, digital marketing and social media to families. Which is why I am always fiddling with things like Foursquare and Facebook and Twitter. It's why I have 2000 fan pages I "like" and those pages include things like Dove products, X-Prize, Hand Washing, and IBM. It is also why I can tell you who invented Braille and Igor Sikorsky's age when he did his initial drawing of the helicopter. And don't forget my extensive knowledge of the homeschooling world, complete with a breakdown of motives behind homeschooling and the regional differences in implementing and monitoring homeschoolers.


I do a lot of new business development, coming up with concepts for how we can help corporations connect with families through schools while actually making a positive impact on kids. We have a free overarching Inventive Thinking curriculum guide for K-12 teachers, with a focus on 3-5th graders. We then take that curriculum and develop supplemental educational materials for schools. "We develop customized print programs with direct outreach into schools to include posters, teacher guides with hands-on activities and take home extensions for families."

Today we launched the perfect example of a major program - The Sports Authority Move It Challenge. SA is asking kids to come up with sports inventions (training equipment, backyard games, etc.)

We shipped 10,000 packets of posters, teacher guides, and parent take homes into schools nationwide. And most recently, I've been writing content for the blog which SA is using for their social media efforts.

The top 15 entries get flown to Denver to present to the Sports Authority team. We did this before but those kids just got to go to Framingham. Anyway. The top 5 of those 15 will go BACK to Denver to the winners' ceremony which will be held at a location TBD but I can tell you that a major sporting goods company like SA who is HQ in Denver might possibly have some ins at some interesting fields or parks. So it should be pretty cool for sporty kids who are creative!

So that is a good example. This is what I do for work. And I love it - and I love it even more when I am at home ;)

Performance Art - Flash Mob Performance of Hair

[Note: Mom. If you are reading, you may not find this funny. You might want to just skip this one.]

Following in the grand tradition of "Roller Coaster Rapid Transit" and "Advice to Mayor Bloomberg in Case of Transit Strike", I give you a proposal for an all day performance of Hair on the NYC subway.

Initial plans involve taking the C from Washington Heights to West 4th, changing to the F, heading to Coney Island with a nude scene finale there. I recognize that the nude scene should technically be at the end of Act I and take place in Washington Square but I'm not getting off the subway and frankly, I don't think this needs to be all formal.We will skip around and improvise when needed.

We are hopeful to get a mic and amp from some guy in Washington Heights but he might possibly go nuts. I think if we give him the role of Hud though, he might be happy. I mean, we would pluck him from his obscure street performance and make him a STAR!

So we will kick off the day with a platform performance of Aquarius on the platform in Washington Heights.

Of course, everyone must be wondering when we perform Black Boys and White Boys. I think it's fairly obvious. PugMom and I will have to perform Black Boys immediately following Aquarius and before I'm Black. We will hold off on having our friend ComicChick do White Boys between Jay Street/Borough Hall and Windsor Terrace.

I'm Black/Colored Spade will hopefully be performed by the street performer dude. If we get in some sort of altercation with him, we will just find someone else.

Naturally, the entire Central Park Acid Scene with LBJ and Electric Blues will be performed from 96th to Columbus Circle, give or take.

Good Morning Starshine and Let The Sunshine In will be joyously performed with anyone who wants to join in - between Columbus Circle and Penn Station.

We need to cast someone to perform Sodomy (my iPod calls it S******) between 34th and 14th. Anyone interested? MM, I am looking at you, even though it is a traditionally male role.

shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen

Initially, I assumed my kids wouldn't be involved but since we have a current long hair issue with The Boy, I think he should proudly be involved. Before my mother comes in again and "helps" by giving him a Friar Tuck look. So I think when we change at W 4th, ChowderBoy (and assorted other results of the post-Loving v. Virginia celebration of miscegenation) will have to perform Hair on the platform. I suggest this is a great meeting spot for anyone who wants to join the F line leg of the performance.

This will immediately be followed by ChowderGirl singing "My Conviction" and wearing her square gear.

Ain't Got No and I Got Life should be performed on the F line before Jay Street. I was hoping to recruit "The Atomic Bomb of Coolness" troupe for this.

Boring songs like Easy to Be Hard  and Frank Mills will be performed on that long boring stretch on the way out to Coney Island.

It all ends with the Be-In at Coney Island. As in the staged version, nudity optional.

Who's with me?

A Grey Grey Year

I can't work! I am having PTSD from working at Grey Interactive!

I am trying to work on a proposal for a potential client. The problem is that I managed production for 2 accounts for this mega-mega corp when I worked at Grey. And it was gruesome. The Account Team on this one was...well...horrifying.

The Group Account Director on this account once threw a 60 page deck at my head, screaming "I TOLD YOU THAT I NEED NUMBERS INCLUDED IN THIS, YOU USELESS BITCH!"

Note: Numbers were included on slides 57-58.

Same GAD also would stay late and scream at her fiance on speaker phone about how she wanted a BIGGER EFFING DIAMOND YOU LOSER and assorted other insults and such.

So I'm sitting here, trying to write this proposal to provide research and innovation services to this mega-mega corp and I keep getting distracted by memories of ALL THE EVIL at Grey.

Working at Home Semi-Full Time ROCKS

So I have a new deal for apple crisp season. Starting last week, I am working from home. I should go into the office once or twice a week, depending on everyone's need. But generally speaking, I work here. We gave up an office in our building and consolidated my space with another consultant.

Last Wednesday was the first day and honestly, it was a little scary. I wasn't quite sure how well I would be able to focus, didn't quite have everything in order. Well, I still don't have it all in order. But it's getting there. But the kids had visitation day and instead of it being a big freak out and juggle and tightrope, I just went and then came home and did 4 or 5 hours of work.

The kids' first day of school was last week. I was able to go to the bus. And then to the school for the new parent breakfast. And then I worked a full day. Thursday night was touch and go. I'm finding that the end of my work day and the kids arrival home coincide to maybe be a bit overwhelming for me. I believe I will try to finish up at 3 most days now. Then I can walk or do the eliptical or some form of physical activity before they get home. I think it will help me burn off the energy and maybe make it better for us all.

Otherwise, I will be all agitated and clean out closets (10 bags for Thursday's Big Brother Big Sister pick up anyone?) or rearrange the living room (it looks great thankyouverymuch) or just sit around looking for things to do. I'm pretty sure that if I don't find a solution, ChowderDad will arrive home one evening to find that I've knocked the wall down between the kitchen and breakfast nook and have rendered the entire back half of our house totally useless.

Best. Bloody. Ever.

Bissell House Restaurant & Bar in Ridgefield, CT.


I usually don't like a bunch of stuff in my bloody but this one was outstanding. PLUS, they made us one to split with two straws and it was slightly oversized. 


It is a good thing we don't live in Ridgefield. I would end up with my name carved on the bar as "Best Customer" or something.